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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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After that, I decide to hit up the local market. Ulica Kralja Tomislava is buzzin’ with people. I’m tryin’ to haggle for some fresh fruits, but the lady’s not havin’ it. “Five kuna!” she says. I’m like, “C’mon, lady, I’m just a broke barista!” But she’s tough. I end up payin’ full price. Ugh, I need to work on my negotiation skills.

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